Monday, September 25, 2006
Vegas Baby!
Normally, what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas, but not this time. Maybe that's because we didn't break any laws or drink ourselves into oblivion.
My mom and sister were comped a suite at Treasure Island, a.k.a. TI. (Yes, it's hip.), so Ben and I decided to tag along. However, my last few trips have been a bust. Not because of all the money that was lost, but due to travel arrangements gone awry. The last time we made the cross desert journey, Cal Trans was doing road construction and thought it would be a great idea to close one lane of the two lane freeway to stand around and look at their tools. A 4 hour trip was an almost 7 hour trip. The time before that, as we were heading home, the freeway was shut down due to a snow storm so I had to buy a plane ticket to fly home in time to be at work the next day. I got about three hours of sleep that night due to delays and returned to a classroom of 36 students. And the time before that, my mom, sister and I were in the midst of another freeway closure due to a huge forest fire and we had to drive on a one lane road that may or may not have been paved for about 9 hours. I refuse to drive to Vegas anymore.
So this time we arranged a flight. We booked it early so unlike that flight due to the aforementioned snowstorm, it did not cost me the equivalent of a flight to Hawaii. However, the only available flight that was suitable for our work schedules left at 10:20 at night. All of you can imagine how exhausted you are after a week of work, but I feel that it is magnified when you work with children. I was so tired that all I wanted to do was lay down on the ground of the airplane. I could not get comfortable at all so I was just adjusting the entire flight. I was ready to claw my way out of the plane that was delayed, BTW, but I could not. They placed the only handicapped person on the flight in the aisle seat of our row. I had to straddle him to get in the seat, saying, "Sorry sir, I am going to straddle you now." To which he replied, "Oh, that's fine." So I decided that one lap dance was enough and we would be the last ones off the plane.
When we finally got to the luggage claim, we had to wait an hour before our bags were transported from the terminal to the carousel which is a short tram ride away. Normally, I would not check a bag for a 36 hour trip, but due to "tightened" security, toothpaste, lotion, and soap are not allowed to be carried on. However, scissors, screwdrivers, and knitting needles were good to go (I am completely serious about this. We referred to TSA.gov) And you know how many people crochet in Vegas?!
I ventured outside of the airport only to notice the line for taxis was approximately 1,000 people long (not an exaggeration) so I stood in line and waited. I got to the front before our bags even began to circulate the carousel and had to tell the security guard in charge of the taxi line that I was waiting for my husband who was experiencing som asthma issues and would be out shortly. After seeing him yell at a few patrons, I did not want to be humiliated so I felt that I had to lie. (Yes, I am going to hell.) I called Ben to inform him that he was doing asthma treatments, but that did not stop him from running out of the airport with our bag, throwing it over a fence and then jumping the fence himself to where the security guard and I stood to which I could only say, "Glad you're feeling better, honey."
When we finally got to the hotel, we noticed that the suite we were promised was now a double which is fine considering how little time we actually spend in the room. As a matter of fact, my mom did not sleep at all. She's nuts. Ben and I stayed up to gamble, but we were delirious. I played this one game called "Hot Flashes" which my sister later commented on its sexist nature. (People with Masters degrees can't just play a game, ya' know?!) Anyways, I earned a bonus session and won like 10 free spins. And every time the wheel would spin, the number of X your win is multiplied by would change. Ben had just walked over. As the marker landed on 12x, I informed Ben that I would not win anything because it wasn't 2x. But I was wrong. Had I been playing the max bet, I would have won the jackpot which was 50,000 nickels. However, I did win 12,000 nickels. Because of delirium and exhaustion, Ben and I struggled to calculate my winnings. After several attempts with the cell phone calculator, we decided that it was $250.00 and I continued to play. Then Ben said, "If 400 nickels is $20, than 12,000 nickels is like 600 bucks." I could not believe him despite his rational reasoning, so I cashed out and sure enough, I had won over $600. Unbelievable! That has never happened to me. People don't even win when they play near me. In fact, I have been called the "Black Dahlia" and the "Plague" by my sister on trips to Vegas where I sit next to her and all her winnings turn to zilch. I am what you would call "the cooler". The casinos should hire me.
I was just thrilled. The flight was paid for as were our tickets to the Cirque du Soleil "Love" show and I still had money to spend.
The following day, Ben and I slept in, went to "breakfast" at 2:00 p.m. which was also comped. We just hung out, walked the Strip to several casinos, including Ben's favorite, Barbary Coast. You're probably thinking, "Why is that his favorite?" Well, it's one of the few places left in Vegas where you can bet $1 rather than $10 on roulette. My friend Alyssa, who lives in Vegas, says that the Barbary Coast occupies valuable Strip space and won't be there much longer. Later that night, we met Alyssa and her boyfriend Jason for dinner. We went to a nice tapas restaurant in the mall near the Mirage. We ordered a lot of different appetizers that were quite delicious and filling. We had a chicken empanada, goat cheese in tomato sauce on garlic toast, bacon wrapped dates, shrimp, salads, and meatballs along with a pitcher of black raspberry sangria. Alyssa gave us the Cirque du Soleil "Love" program and then Ben and I were on our way to the show.
We headed to the Mirage around 10:00 p.m. with the show about to begin at 10:30. We were welcomed by ushers in "English" type costumes and English accents (fake, I'm sure). We found our seats and looked through our program. The Fool from the show walked around putting hearts on people and spewing messages of love and peace. Oh, the wise fool! Then the show began with a bang! Colorful confetti shot out from the ceiling and the Beatles blared from the 6,341 speakers in the theatre that seats 2,013 people. It was awesome.
If you love the Beatles, you must go. Along with songs, they played a Beatles' Abbey Road recording session. The show told the story of the music, beginning with the war that nearly destroyed Liverpool, its rebirth, the hysteria of the Beatles, with the psychedelic and spiritual phases, and the break up. I loved it! I have never heard the Beatles played loud for an audience of 2,000 before and realized as any Beatles fan must, that the Beatles, though half of them are dead and the group is no longer together, that the music should be played for large groups of people still. The show was not your typical (less circus and more dance with circus mixed in) Cirques show, however the props and effects were interesting. Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds was done with millions of twinkling lights that could not be seen before the show began and a diamond covered girl on a bungee cord. The stars sparkled and flashed and it was so cool that I almost couldn't stand looking at it, if that makes sense.
They played While My Guitar Gently Weeps which is one of my favorites and Blackbird was not performed by the Beatles, but spoken by the teacher of the uncoordinated birds. They never played the song, but just teased us with a few notes. I wish they had played that song. They used projected images of the Beatles in both silhouette and as they really looked. It was awesome. Ben kept getting scared because confetti and streamers were constantly being shot at him. It was classic. Ben only started checking his watch about 20 minutes before the end and later commented that he prefers the dare-devil antics of the crew in traditional Cirque shows like Dralion which we saw years ago. I, however, loved the music and the stories that the songs tell. If you're a fan of the Beatles and Cirque du Soleil, you must see this show. It is beautiful and made just for you. And although the tickets are a bit pricey, the "cheap" seats ar still very close to the stage. Ben and I sat in the mid-level seats and it was wonderful, well worth the money.
The show ended and for me, that truly was the conclusion of our Vegas trip. Ben went to sleep shortly after the show and I hooked up with my mom, lost some more money and was in bed before 3 a.m. We got up at 5 to make our 8:52 a.m. flight (the latest departure we could find). Treasure Island provided limo transportation from the hotel to the airport which was our final luxury before flying coach.
When we finally arrived, we had one more laugh as my mom got her luggage off the carousel. Stuffed in one of the pockets was a large hook and chain. My mom's guess was that it was from a garment bag, but it sure looked like the hook that a masochist would hang himself from at freak show parties. It was hilarious the way my mom pulled it out, only to stuff it back in quickly, recognizing what it may have looked like. Apparently, she too has seen that episode of Real Sex on HBO.
We said our good-byes and headed home. On the way, a wasp flew in our car, hit Ben in the shoulder and bit me in the back. There has to be meaning in that, don't you think?
My mom and sister were comped a suite at Treasure Island, a.k.a. TI. (Yes, it's hip.), so Ben and I decided to tag along. However, my last few trips have been a bust. Not because of all the money that was lost, but due to travel arrangements gone awry. The last time we made the cross desert journey, Cal Trans was doing road construction and thought it would be a great idea to close one lane of the two lane freeway to stand around and look at their tools. A 4 hour trip was an almost 7 hour trip. The time before that, as we were heading home, the freeway was shut down due to a snow storm so I had to buy a plane ticket to fly home in time to be at work the next day. I got about three hours of sleep that night due to delays and returned to a classroom of 36 students. And the time before that, my mom, sister and I were in the midst of another freeway closure due to a huge forest fire and we had to drive on a one lane road that may or may not have been paved for about 9 hours. I refuse to drive to Vegas anymore.
So this time we arranged a flight. We booked it early so unlike that flight due to the aforementioned snowstorm, it did not cost me the equivalent of a flight to Hawaii. However, the only available flight that was suitable for our work schedules left at 10:20 at night. All of you can imagine how exhausted you are after a week of work, but I feel that it is magnified when you work with children. I was so tired that all I wanted to do was lay down on the ground of the airplane. I could not get comfortable at all so I was just adjusting the entire flight. I was ready to claw my way out of the plane that was delayed, BTW, but I could not. They placed the only handicapped person on the flight in the aisle seat of our row. I had to straddle him to get in the seat, saying, "Sorry sir, I am going to straddle you now." To which he replied, "Oh, that's fine." So I decided that one lap dance was enough and we would be the last ones off the plane.
When we finally got to the luggage claim, we had to wait an hour before our bags were transported from the terminal to the carousel which is a short tram ride away. Normally, I would not check a bag for a 36 hour trip, but due to "tightened" security, toothpaste, lotion, and soap are not allowed to be carried on. However, scissors, screwdrivers, and knitting needles were good to go (I am completely serious about this. We referred to TSA.gov) And you know how many people crochet in Vegas?!
I ventured outside of the airport only to notice the line for taxis was approximately 1,000 people long (not an exaggeration) so I stood in line and waited. I got to the front before our bags even began to circulate the carousel and had to tell the security guard in charge of the taxi line that I was waiting for my husband who was experiencing som asthma issues and would be out shortly. After seeing him yell at a few patrons, I did not want to be humiliated so I felt that I had to lie. (Yes, I am going to hell.) I called Ben to inform him that he was doing asthma treatments, but that did not stop him from running out of the airport with our bag, throwing it over a fence and then jumping the fence himself to where the security guard and I stood to which I could only say, "Glad you're feeling better, honey."
When we finally got to the hotel, we noticed that the suite we were promised was now a double which is fine considering how little time we actually spend in the room. As a matter of fact, my mom did not sleep at all. She's nuts. Ben and I stayed up to gamble, but we were delirious. I played this one game called "Hot Flashes" which my sister later commented on its sexist nature. (People with Masters degrees can't just play a game, ya' know?!) Anyways, I earned a bonus session and won like 10 free spins. And every time the wheel would spin, the number of X your win is multiplied by would change. Ben had just walked over. As the marker landed on 12x, I informed Ben that I would not win anything because it wasn't 2x. But I was wrong. Had I been playing the max bet, I would have won the jackpot which was 50,000 nickels. However, I did win 12,000 nickels. Because of delirium and exhaustion, Ben and I struggled to calculate my winnings. After several attempts with the cell phone calculator, we decided that it was $250.00 and I continued to play. Then Ben said, "If 400 nickels is $20, than 12,000 nickels is like 600 bucks." I could not believe him despite his rational reasoning, so I cashed out and sure enough, I had won over $600. Unbelievable! That has never happened to me. People don't even win when they play near me. In fact, I have been called the "Black Dahlia" and the "Plague" by my sister on trips to Vegas where I sit next to her and all her winnings turn to zilch. I am what you would call "the cooler". The casinos should hire me.
I was just thrilled. The flight was paid for as were our tickets to the Cirque du Soleil "Love" show and I still had money to spend.
The following day, Ben and I slept in, went to "breakfast" at 2:00 p.m. which was also comped. We just hung out, walked the Strip to several casinos, including Ben's favorite, Barbary Coast. You're probably thinking, "Why is that his favorite?" Well, it's one of the few places left in Vegas where you can bet $1 rather than $10 on roulette. My friend Alyssa, who lives in Vegas, says that the Barbary Coast occupies valuable Strip space and won't be there much longer. Later that night, we met Alyssa and her boyfriend Jason for dinner. We went to a nice tapas restaurant in the mall near the Mirage. We ordered a lot of different appetizers that were quite delicious and filling. We had a chicken empanada, goat cheese in tomato sauce on garlic toast, bacon wrapped dates, shrimp, salads, and meatballs along with a pitcher of black raspberry sangria. Alyssa gave us the Cirque du Soleil "Love" program and then Ben and I were on our way to the show.
We headed to the Mirage around 10:00 p.m. with the show about to begin at 10:30. We were welcomed by ushers in "English" type costumes and English accents (fake, I'm sure). We found our seats and looked through our program. The Fool from the show walked around putting hearts on people and spewing messages of love and peace. Oh, the wise fool! Then the show began with a bang! Colorful confetti shot out from the ceiling and the Beatles blared from the 6,341 speakers in the theatre that seats 2,013 people. It was awesome.
If you love the Beatles, you must go. Along with songs, they played a Beatles' Abbey Road recording session. The show told the story of the music, beginning with the war that nearly destroyed Liverpool, its rebirth, the hysteria of the Beatles, with the psychedelic and spiritual phases, and the break up. I loved it! I have never heard the Beatles played loud for an audience of 2,000 before and realized as any Beatles fan must, that the Beatles, though half of them are dead and the group is no longer together, that the music should be played for large groups of people still. The show was not your typical (less circus and more dance with circus mixed in) Cirques show, however the props and effects were interesting. Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds was done with millions of twinkling lights that could not be seen before the show began and a diamond covered girl on a bungee cord. The stars sparkled and flashed and it was so cool that I almost couldn't stand looking at it, if that makes sense.
They played While My Guitar Gently Weeps which is one of my favorites and Blackbird was not performed by the Beatles, but spoken by the teacher of the uncoordinated birds. They never played the song, but just teased us with a few notes. I wish they had played that song. They used projected images of the Beatles in both silhouette and as they really looked. It was awesome. Ben kept getting scared because confetti and streamers were constantly being shot at him. It was classic. Ben only started checking his watch about 20 minutes before the end and later commented that he prefers the dare-devil antics of the crew in traditional Cirque shows like Dralion which we saw years ago. I, however, loved the music and the stories that the songs tell. If you're a fan of the Beatles and Cirque du Soleil, you must see this show. It is beautiful and made just for you. And although the tickets are a bit pricey, the "cheap" seats ar still very close to the stage. Ben and I sat in the mid-level seats and it was wonderful, well worth the money.
The show ended and for me, that truly was the conclusion of our Vegas trip. Ben went to sleep shortly after the show and I hooked up with my mom, lost some more money and was in bed before 3 a.m. We got up at 5 to make our 8:52 a.m. flight (the latest departure we could find). Treasure Island provided limo transportation from the hotel to the airport which was our final luxury before flying coach.
When we finally arrived, we had one more laugh as my mom got her luggage off the carousel. Stuffed in one of the pockets was a large hook and chain. My mom's guess was that it was from a garment bag, but it sure looked like the hook that a masochist would hang himself from at freak show parties. It was hilarious the way my mom pulled it out, only to stuff it back in quickly, recognizing what it may have looked like. Apparently, she too has seen that episode of Real Sex on HBO.
We said our good-byes and headed home. On the way, a wasp flew in our car, hit Ben in the shoulder and bit me in the back. There has to be meaning in that, don't you think?
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
Our Wedding
On July 28, Ben and I woke up before 10:00 a.m. I had been up late doing the final touches on a few things and even had to pick up my gown on the day before, which was a minor disaster. The seamstress who had my dress for over a month allowed her "apprentice" to make the final alterations. Unfortunately, I could have done a better sewing job. I almost cried in the fitting room and had to tell Sonia that I could not possibly wear the dress the way it was. Even she was not supportive of her employee's work. She even commented, "She had two weeks to do it," shaking her head. Sonia wanted me to come back for it on my wedding day and I said, "No way." The next day, I had an appointment at 12:30 to get my hair done. How could I possibly go to the Valley and then up to Carpinteria and make in time for my wedding? Well, I couldn't. About an hour and a half later, Sonia was able to make the dress presentable. As I went to make the final payments, they accused me of not paying at all. They wanted me to pay again. That's when I got a bit angry. "First of all, I paid for the dress and the $200 for alterations that a 6 year old could have done. Now there is a run in the front of the dress that I have already paid for and you want me to pay again???" The owner of the shop said, "If you are unsatisfied, you do not need to take the dress." To which I replied, "My wedding is less than 24 hours away. If you had been able to provide the finished product with at least two weeks notice, I might not be walking outside with this dress right now." She gave me a $50 refund (not enough for the trouble, I tell you) and I was on my way. The whole while, Ben sat in the front completely unaware of the dress disaster. I cringe just thinking about how I had to squeeze into the dress that first time.
The next morning, Ben and I got our things together and as I headed for my 12:30 appointment, Shawn came over to drive Ben up to Carpinteria. They were going up to start setting up decorations. By the time my hair was finished, it was 2:00 p.m. and I had to get my things from home and begin the drive to Carpinteria. I got on the road by 3:00 p.m. with the wedding to begin at 5:00 p.m. There was bumper to bumper traffic from the time my tires touched the 101 until I passed Ventura. It was a little after 4:00 when I finally arrived at the hotel. Of course, the management at the Best Western had no idea who I was, even though Ben told them I was coming and I did as well over the phone. Finally, I reached the hotel room. It was 4:15! I had 45 minutes to get ready for my wedding!!! It takes me longer to get ready to take the trash out.
So I got in the room and began a frantic make-up application. Ben and Shawn were still setting up and would be back soon, I hoped. However, when we set up mock decorations in Michaels and at home, we did not have the Pacific breeze to contend with. So they had a bit of trouble. Shawn suggested to Ben that they not mention the numerous glass vases that had fallen over and broken, but Ben could not keep it to himself. By the time they arrived, they had about 20 minutes to get ready. I was trying to get them out of there so I could put on my dress. When they finally left around 4:45, Olga came over to help me put my dress on and set up candles in the room. At 5:00, Aleasha, the photographer was calling from down stairs, waiting to pick me up. She brought a bottle of champagne which Ben and I would drink after the ceremony, on the beach while we took our pictures. Aleasha suggested that, "It would take the edge off."
At about 5:10, I arrived at the Beach Grill at Padaro. I was in cell phone contact with the D.J. (Gavin). As soon as I arrived, Ben walked out with my sister who was performing the ceremony. My parents waited for me at the far end of the bridge. Gavin hit the music and I walked out much quicker than I should have to "In My Life" by the Beatles. Below are the lyrics written by Paul McCartney and John Lennon.
There are places I remember
all my life, though some have changed.
Some forever, not for better.
And some have gone, and some remain.
All these places have their moments
with lovers and friends I still can't recall.
Some are dead and some are living.
In my life I love them all.
But of all these friends and lovers,
there is no one compares with you.
And these memories lose their meaning
when I think of love as something new.
Though I know I'll never ever lose affection
for people and things that went before,
I know I'll often stop and think about them.
In my life I love you more.
Though I know I'll never ever lose affection
for people and things that went before,
I know I'll often stop and think of them.
But in my life I loved you more.
I love you more.
I love you more.
When I met my parents at the bridge, my dad kissed my hand. It is a moment I will not forget, even though no one captured it on film. My dad had been teasing my mom, because like me, she is a cry baby. She was already blubbering when I met them. When I got to them, my dad said in Czech, "Oh my God, I'm going to cry." When I looked up to take in my surroundings, it was just gorgeous. The colors were so bright. There was green everywhere. And the orange touches and colorful gerber daisies made me happy. It was humid, but not hot like it had been for a few weeks. There was a light breeze blowing in. I looked on and I still didn't see Ben. I saw my closest friends smiling at me. Sasha was crying already which she later told me was kind of a shock for her. Because weddings are usually so formal, I think people can disconnect from the people getting married. The entire time I was planning this day, I wanted everything to seem like us. I hope that came through. I think it did.
I still felt the discomfort of everyone looking at me, so I walked fast, but I was truly happy that the moment was finally here. I saw Ben and I could tell he was sweaty and nervous. When I finally reached him, we had almost the whole song to listen to. I asked Gavin not to cut the music and it allowed us to get our bearings for at least a moment. When the music finally stopped, my sister began the ceremony. She said three words before she was crying and I honestly thought she wouldn't be able to get it together. It was that kind of crying. But she did. Below is the ceremony that she put together for us.
Gathering Words (after the processional; Romy and Ben standing at the altar)
Love has gathered us here today.
We are here to celebrate the love that Romy and Ben have for each other as well as the love that each of you has given them throughout their lives.
As family and friends, you are the ones who have taught Romy and Ben how to love.
You have shown them the blessings that come through loving one another.
Having planted the seed of love in them, we are now gathered to support them as they embark upon their voyage of discovery as husband and wife.
We are here to see them off on this journey.
Let us also be there to see them through.
Remembrance
Romy and Ben have asked that we take a moment to honor the memory of those loved ones who could only be here today in spirit.
At this time, please bow your heads for a moment of silence.
Charge for the Couple
Romy and Ben, you have made a very serious and important decision in choosing to marry each other today.
You are entering into a sacred bond as husband and wife.
As in tending the flowers in a garden, the quality of your marriage will reflect the effort you put into nurturing this relationship.
You have the opportunity to go forward from this day to create a faithful, kind, and tender relationship.
We bless you this day.
It is up to you to keep the blessings flowing each and every day of your lives together.
We wish for you the wisdom, compassion, and constancy to create a peaceful sanctuary in which you can both grow in love.
Romy, do you understand and accept this responsibility, and do you promise to do your very best each day to create a loving, healthy, and happy marriage?
(Romy answers, "Yes.")
Ben, do you understand and accept this responsibility, and do you promise to do your very best each day to create a loving, healthy, and happy marriage?
(Ben answers, "Yes.")
Declaration of Support
Romy and Ben are making a sacred pledge here today, and it is important for us, as their family and friends, to do the same.
I invite each of you as members of this gathering to indicate your support for Romy and Ben by answering "I will" to the following question:
Will each of you do everything you can to uphold and care for these two people in their marriage?
(Guests answer, "I will.")
I encourage you as family and friends to always be loving in your thoughts about and interactions with Romy and Ben.
Stand beside them, not between them.
Come to them with hearts of peace, not judgment.
Honor their marriage as the sacred union that it is, and honor them by showing them your kindness, your support, and your loving hearts.
Marriage Address
Romy and Ben, your marriage will, no doubt, be filled with surprises.
Some you will welcome, while others will test the strength and flexibility of your bond.
Your life together will present many opportunities to refine and deepen your love and to explore the profound depths of your being.
May you be compassionate with each other and nurture yourselves, each other, and this union with tender loving care.
May your love create a safe haven for you both on the journey that lies ahead of you.
Lead with your hearts and take the time to do the simple things that will nurture your love.
Deeply listen to each other, to your dreams and to your frustrations.
Help each other.
Find ways to give your love anew to each other every day.
Let your love be an inspiration to others to reach for what is good within us all.
May your love be so abundant that you have plenty to share with the rest of us as well.
It is your love that has brought us together here today.
May it grow deeper and sweeter with each passing year.
Personal Vows
At this time, Romy and Ben have some words to share with each other. Romy?
(Romy speaks.)
Ben?
(Ben speaks.)
Ring Exchange & Wedding Vows
Danny, would you please come forward with the rings?
(Pause for Danny to come forward but stay off to the side.)
These rings are symbols of the love that joins you spirit to spirit.
They represent the oneness, eternity, and renewal inherent in the marriage union.
May these rings serve you and those who see them upon your fingers as reminders of the vows you have made here today and of our need to be faithful in all our relationships.
Ben, please take Romy's ring and place it on her finger. (Ben takes the ring and slips it halfway onto Romy's finger, holding on to it until Romy's vows are complete.)
Romy, do you take Ben to be your lawfully wedded husband, to love and to cherish from this day forward?
(Romy says, "I do.")
Please repeat after me:
Romy's vows:
I, Romy, take you Ben, (pause)
to be my husband, (pause)
to have and to hold, (pause)
for better, for worse, (pause)
for richer, for poorer, (pause)
in sickness and in health, (pause)
to love and to cherish, (pause)
from this day forward. (pause)
This is my solemn vow. (pause)
Romy, please take Ben's ring and place it on his finger. (Romy takes the ring and slips it halfway onto Ben's finger, holding on to it until Ben's vows are complete.)
Ben, do you take Romy to be your lawfully wedded wife, to love and to cherish from this day forward?
(Ben says, "I do.")
Please repeat after me:
Ben's vows:
I, Ben, take you Romy, (pause)
to be my wife, (pause)
to have and to hold, (pause)
for better, for worse, (pause)
for richer, for poorer, (pause)
in sickness and in health, (pause)
to love and to cherish, (pause)
from this day forward. (pause)
This is my solemn vow. (pause)
Final Blessing & Pronouncement
Romy and Ben, our best wishes go forward from this day with you.
We wish for you a fulfilling life, rich in caring, happiness, and health.
We wish for you a gentle and peaceful life that nurtures and comforts you.
We wish for you a noble life, which reflects your honesty, kindness, and integrity.
We wish for you an adventurous life, exploring the fullness of your own and each other's true selves.
Romy and Ben, there is a wonderful life ahead of you.
Live it fully.
Love its changes and choices.
Let life amaze you and bring you great joy.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of California, it is my great pleasure to pronounce you husband and wife.
Mr. and Mrs. Hudes, you may now kiss as husband and wife for the first time.
Congratulations!
When I was repeating after my sister, one of our greatest worries came true. Even though we had timed it on several occasions, the train came by. I paused and waited for it to pass. Later, my boss who was unable to attend, asked me if the train came by like he had arranged. What a jokester?! Luckily it was a short train.
Ben was very nervous. He wouldn't even hold my hand. When I asked him about it later, he said that he thought he wasn't allowed to until we were married. Isn't he cute? When we had written our vows, the one thing we didn't want to do was say them in front of everyone. We kept expressing our nervousness about it. So the night before, we decided to whisper our vows because they really are meant for us. But because I want to document the day, I will share them with you now. I said, "This is a perfect life. We are so lucky. I am so happy. I love you." Ben said, "I knew from the first time I saw you that you would be my wife. I will always take care of you. I love you, dear."
And just like that, the ceremony ended. We kissed and I cheered and then we ran off as Gavin played "She Loves You" by the Beatles. Our guests enjoyed appetizers and beers. We picked an imported olive bar with smoked meats, cheeses, and a variety of breads and crackers along with grilled vegetables drizzled with olive oil. Of course, I don't know if that's what they ate, because Ben and I were taking pictures. We also arranged to have Imperial beer, which is a Costa Rican beer that we enjoyed on our trip last summer. It was quite and accomplishment getting it and we had no idea that we would have it until a couple of days before the wedding.
We took family pictures and then Ben and I headed off to pose on the railroad tracks behind the Beach Grill and then to the beach. When we finally returned, Gavin introduced us as "Romy and Ben Hudes" and played "All You Need Is Love" by the Beatles. (Are you seeing a theme here?) All Ben and I wanted to do was celebrate and enjoy a beer. I was also starving because I was unable to eat all day. I guess brides don't usually get to eat at their wedding, but I would not miss it. Ben and I both knew how good the food was. I ate the chicken roullades, which are lightly breaded chicken breasts wrapped around goat cheese and peppers. Ben had the salmon. We ate grilled asparagus and baked potatoes. We also had cheese stuffed shells, salads with homemade dressings, and fruit salad (which had berries and was not just melon slices-YUM!)
While we ate, our friends came up to give a toast. Ryan recalled our days in San Diego on Stanley Ave., which is really where our story began. I was listening to him when someone shouted in my ear, "What's he saying? What is he talking about?" It was Ben's grandma. I had to tell her that if she continued to shout in my ear, I would be unable to tell her because I'd miss it myself. Jo Ellen spoke a little later and she mentioned all the fun we've had. She also mentioned the joy we experienced making fun of other people, which is true and hilarious. I can't help it. There is so much humor in the way people are.
As the night went on, I tried to talk to everyone. Unfortunately, I was saving my family for last because I talk to them more than anyone, but I didn't get to spend much time with them or anyone else really. My mom and aunt made traditional Czech desserts. They were so good. There were so many different kinds. I still have dreams about the cookies and pastries. In the Czech Republic, wedding cake is very expensive, so the women in the bride's family usually make pastries that the guests can later take home. My mom also bought several cakes. There was a carrot cake, a fruit and whipped cream torte, a chocolate cake, and a white cake stuffed with strawberries. One cake was labeled "All you need is love," another said, "Love" and the third said, "Love is all you need." These are lyrics from a Beatles song mentioned earlier in this blog.
Ben and I picked all the songs that were played that night and even though the D.J. was unsure how they would go over with the crowd, Ben and I were happy with the music. He played Jack Johnson, Mason Jennings, the Clash, Reverend Horton Heat, "Under Pressure" by Freddy Mercury and David Bowie, the Dixie Chicks, Michael Jackson, Social Distortion, Oingo Boingo, New Kids on the Block, the Mammals and much more. We danced our first dance to "Stairway to the Stars" by the Mammals. It is a lovely song with a 1940's sound. (I will try to upload so check back if you're interested. It's really a lovely song.) Then our parents danced to a song by Smoky Robinson. I can't think of the title right now, but it's a naughty little number that starts, "I don't like you, but I love you..."
We danced, drank, and enjoyed the perfect summer night. When the night was over, Ben and I along with a couple of friends cleaned up the restaurant (Yes, I did so in my wedding gown. I knew I would have to do so at some point, so it was not a chore. The Imperial buzz helped.) We thought we would come back the next morning to do it, but because we were suddenly going to celebrate a little longer with our friends who traveled great distances to be with us, we decided that we would rather hang out and sleep in than come clean up in the morning. And since there was a wedding reception at the Beach Grill the next day as well, I am glad we collected the decorations that night. We headed back to the hotel room and caught up with friends (see previous blog entry).
When our friends left, we opened a couple gifts that our friends wanted us to enjoy before our trip to Fiji. Then, Ben and I layed in bed and stared at the ceiling. We were still high on adrenaline and we couldn't sleep. We talked about the perfect day that we just had. And I was actually kind of sad that it was over. When Ben proposed to me, I was 23. I was still a kid and hardly ready to be a wife and plan a wedding. I am so glad I waited because if I hadn't, I may have had the wedding Ben's mom would have wanted for her daughter if she had one. This is what I have heard from a lot of women who get married young. They have to wear an ugly poofy dress in a church that they didn't pick with a bunch of traditions that are so familiar and yet so foreign at the same time. I knew that wasn't what I wanted. And even as I began planning the wedding, I kept returning to all those formal traditions and I kept thinking that I had to have them. But that was what I didn't want for my wedding. So I decided that Ben and I would do it the way we wanted, whether it followed tradition or not. We did everything: I made the invitations and the decorations (with lots of help from Jennifer, my sister-in-law). And it was perfect: just the way I wanted. I don't think anyone felt cheated out of the formal wedding. I don't think anyone missed it. Everyone was dressed casually. Our guests didn't have to buy something that they would only wear once. There weren't any references to religion, even though Ben is Jewish. We are a diverse group where everyone was welcome. It was a summer party with a wedding attached. I loved it and I would not have changed a thing.
Thank you to all of you who made the trip and those of you who wished us well. We appreciated it so much. I will think of it forever.
The next morning, Ben and I got our things together and as I headed for my 12:30 appointment, Shawn came over to drive Ben up to Carpinteria. They were going up to start setting up decorations. By the time my hair was finished, it was 2:00 p.m. and I had to get my things from home and begin the drive to Carpinteria. I got on the road by 3:00 p.m. with the wedding to begin at 5:00 p.m. There was bumper to bumper traffic from the time my tires touched the 101 until I passed Ventura. It was a little after 4:00 when I finally arrived at the hotel. Of course, the management at the Best Western had no idea who I was, even though Ben told them I was coming and I did as well over the phone. Finally, I reached the hotel room. It was 4:15! I had 45 minutes to get ready for my wedding!!! It takes me longer to get ready to take the trash out.
So I got in the room and began a frantic make-up application. Ben and Shawn were still setting up and would be back soon, I hoped. However, when we set up mock decorations in Michaels and at home, we did not have the Pacific breeze to contend with. So they had a bit of trouble. Shawn suggested to Ben that they not mention the numerous glass vases that had fallen over and broken, but Ben could not keep it to himself. By the time they arrived, they had about 20 minutes to get ready. I was trying to get them out of there so I could put on my dress. When they finally left around 4:45, Olga came over to help me put my dress on and set up candles in the room. At 5:00, Aleasha, the photographer was calling from down stairs, waiting to pick me up. She brought a bottle of champagne which Ben and I would drink after the ceremony, on the beach while we took our pictures. Aleasha suggested that, "It would take the edge off."
At about 5:10, I arrived at the Beach Grill at Padaro. I was in cell phone contact with the D.J. (Gavin). As soon as I arrived, Ben walked out with my sister who was performing the ceremony. My parents waited for me at the far end of the bridge. Gavin hit the music and I walked out much quicker than I should have to "In My Life" by the Beatles. Below are the lyrics written by Paul McCartney and John Lennon.
There are places I remember
all my life, though some have changed.
Some forever, not for better.
And some have gone, and some remain.
All these places have their moments
with lovers and friends I still can't recall.
Some are dead and some are living.
In my life I love them all.
But of all these friends and lovers,
there is no one compares with you.
And these memories lose their meaning
when I think of love as something new.
Though I know I'll never ever lose affection
for people and things that went before,
I know I'll often stop and think about them.
In my life I love you more.
Though I know I'll never ever lose affection
for people and things that went before,
I know I'll often stop and think of them.
But in my life I loved you more.
I love you more.
I love you more.
When I met my parents at the bridge, my dad kissed my hand. It is a moment I will not forget, even though no one captured it on film. My dad had been teasing my mom, because like me, she is a cry baby. She was already blubbering when I met them. When I got to them, my dad said in Czech, "Oh my God, I'm going to cry." When I looked up to take in my surroundings, it was just gorgeous. The colors were so bright. There was green everywhere. And the orange touches and colorful gerber daisies made me happy. It was humid, but not hot like it had been for a few weeks. There was a light breeze blowing in. I looked on and I still didn't see Ben. I saw my closest friends smiling at me. Sasha was crying already which she later told me was kind of a shock for her. Because weddings are usually so formal, I think people can disconnect from the people getting married. The entire time I was planning this day, I wanted everything to seem like us. I hope that came through. I think it did.
I still felt the discomfort of everyone looking at me, so I walked fast, but I was truly happy that the moment was finally here. I saw Ben and I could tell he was sweaty and nervous. When I finally reached him, we had almost the whole song to listen to. I asked Gavin not to cut the music and it allowed us to get our bearings for at least a moment. When the music finally stopped, my sister began the ceremony. She said three words before she was crying and I honestly thought she wouldn't be able to get it together. It was that kind of crying. But she did. Below is the ceremony that she put together for us.
Gathering Words (after the processional; Romy and Ben standing at the altar)
Love has gathered us here today.
We are here to celebrate the love that Romy and Ben have for each other as well as the love that each of you has given them throughout their lives.
As family and friends, you are the ones who have taught Romy and Ben how to love.
You have shown them the blessings that come through loving one another.
Having planted the seed of love in them, we are now gathered to support them as they embark upon their voyage of discovery as husband and wife.
We are here to see them off on this journey.
Let us also be there to see them through.
Remembrance
Romy and Ben have asked that we take a moment to honor the memory of those loved ones who could only be here today in spirit.
At this time, please bow your heads for a moment of silence.
Charge for the Couple
Romy and Ben, you have made a very serious and important decision in choosing to marry each other today.
You are entering into a sacred bond as husband and wife.
As in tending the flowers in a garden, the quality of your marriage will reflect the effort you put into nurturing this relationship.
You have the opportunity to go forward from this day to create a faithful, kind, and tender relationship.
We bless you this day.
It is up to you to keep the blessings flowing each and every day of your lives together.
We wish for you the wisdom, compassion, and constancy to create a peaceful sanctuary in which you can both grow in love.
Romy, do you understand and accept this responsibility, and do you promise to do your very best each day to create a loving, healthy, and happy marriage?
(Romy answers, "Yes.")
Ben, do you understand and accept this responsibility, and do you promise to do your very best each day to create a loving, healthy, and happy marriage?
(Ben answers, "Yes.")
Declaration of Support
Romy and Ben are making a sacred pledge here today, and it is important for us, as their family and friends, to do the same.
I invite each of you as members of this gathering to indicate your support for Romy and Ben by answering "I will" to the following question:
Will each of you do everything you can to uphold and care for these two people in their marriage?
(Guests answer, "I will.")
I encourage you as family and friends to always be loving in your thoughts about and interactions with Romy and Ben.
Stand beside them, not between them.
Come to them with hearts of peace, not judgment.
Honor their marriage as the sacred union that it is, and honor them by showing them your kindness, your support, and your loving hearts.
Marriage Address
Romy and Ben, your marriage will, no doubt, be filled with surprises.
Some you will welcome, while others will test the strength and flexibility of your bond.
Your life together will present many opportunities to refine and deepen your love and to explore the profound depths of your being.
May you be compassionate with each other and nurture yourselves, each other, and this union with tender loving care.
May your love create a safe haven for you both on the journey that lies ahead of you.
Lead with your hearts and take the time to do the simple things that will nurture your love.
Deeply listen to each other, to your dreams and to your frustrations.
Help each other.
Find ways to give your love anew to each other every day.
Let your love be an inspiration to others to reach for what is good within us all.
May your love be so abundant that you have plenty to share with the rest of us as well.
It is your love that has brought us together here today.
May it grow deeper and sweeter with each passing year.
Personal Vows
At this time, Romy and Ben have some words to share with each other. Romy?
(Romy speaks.)
Ben?
(Ben speaks.)
Ring Exchange & Wedding Vows
Danny, would you please come forward with the rings?
(Pause for Danny to come forward but stay off to the side.)
These rings are symbols of the love that joins you spirit to spirit.
They represent the oneness, eternity, and renewal inherent in the marriage union.
May these rings serve you and those who see them upon your fingers as reminders of the vows you have made here today and of our need to be faithful in all our relationships.
Ben, please take Romy's ring and place it on her finger. (Ben takes the ring and slips it halfway onto Romy's finger, holding on to it until Romy's vows are complete.)
Romy, do you take Ben to be your lawfully wedded husband, to love and to cherish from this day forward?
(Romy says, "I do.")
Please repeat after me:
Romy's vows:
I, Romy, take you Ben, (pause)
to be my husband, (pause)
to have and to hold, (pause)
for better, for worse, (pause)
for richer, for poorer, (pause)
in sickness and in health, (pause)
to love and to cherish, (pause)
from this day forward. (pause)
This is my solemn vow. (pause)
Romy, please take Ben's ring and place it on his finger. (Romy takes the ring and slips it halfway onto Ben's finger, holding on to it until Ben's vows are complete.)
Ben, do you take Romy to be your lawfully wedded wife, to love and to cherish from this day forward?
(Ben says, "I do.")
Please repeat after me:
Ben's vows:
I, Ben, take you Romy, (pause)
to be my wife, (pause)
to have and to hold, (pause)
for better, for worse, (pause)
for richer, for poorer, (pause)
in sickness and in health, (pause)
to love and to cherish, (pause)
from this day forward. (pause)
This is my solemn vow. (pause)
Final Blessing & Pronouncement
Romy and Ben, our best wishes go forward from this day with you.
We wish for you a fulfilling life, rich in caring, happiness, and health.
We wish for you a gentle and peaceful life that nurtures and comforts you.
We wish for you a noble life, which reflects your honesty, kindness, and integrity.
We wish for you an adventurous life, exploring the fullness of your own and each other's true selves.
Romy and Ben, there is a wonderful life ahead of you.
Live it fully.
Love its changes and choices.
Let life amaze you and bring you great joy.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of California, it is my great pleasure to pronounce you husband and wife.
Mr. and Mrs. Hudes, you may now kiss as husband and wife for the first time.
Congratulations!
When I was repeating after my sister, one of our greatest worries came true. Even though we had timed it on several occasions, the train came by. I paused and waited for it to pass. Later, my boss who was unable to attend, asked me if the train came by like he had arranged. What a jokester?! Luckily it was a short train.
Ben was very nervous. He wouldn't even hold my hand. When I asked him about it later, he said that he thought he wasn't allowed to until we were married. Isn't he cute? When we had written our vows, the one thing we didn't want to do was say them in front of everyone. We kept expressing our nervousness about it. So the night before, we decided to whisper our vows because they really are meant for us. But because I want to document the day, I will share them with you now. I said, "This is a perfect life. We are so lucky. I am so happy. I love you." Ben said, "I knew from the first time I saw you that you would be my wife. I will always take care of you. I love you, dear."
And just like that, the ceremony ended. We kissed and I cheered and then we ran off as Gavin played "She Loves You" by the Beatles. Our guests enjoyed appetizers and beers. We picked an imported olive bar with smoked meats, cheeses, and a variety of breads and crackers along with grilled vegetables drizzled with olive oil. Of course, I don't know if that's what they ate, because Ben and I were taking pictures. We also arranged to have Imperial beer, which is a Costa Rican beer that we enjoyed on our trip last summer. It was quite and accomplishment getting it and we had no idea that we would have it until a couple of days before the wedding.
We took family pictures and then Ben and I headed off to pose on the railroad tracks behind the Beach Grill and then to the beach. When we finally returned, Gavin introduced us as "Romy and Ben Hudes" and played "All You Need Is Love" by the Beatles. (Are you seeing a theme here?) All Ben and I wanted to do was celebrate and enjoy a beer. I was also starving because I was unable to eat all day. I guess brides don't usually get to eat at their wedding, but I would not miss it. Ben and I both knew how good the food was. I ate the chicken roullades, which are lightly breaded chicken breasts wrapped around goat cheese and peppers. Ben had the salmon. We ate grilled asparagus and baked potatoes. We also had cheese stuffed shells, salads with homemade dressings, and fruit salad (which had berries and was not just melon slices-YUM!)
While we ate, our friends came up to give a toast. Ryan recalled our days in San Diego on Stanley Ave., which is really where our story began. I was listening to him when someone shouted in my ear, "What's he saying? What is he talking about?" It was Ben's grandma. I had to tell her that if she continued to shout in my ear, I would be unable to tell her because I'd miss it myself. Jo Ellen spoke a little later and she mentioned all the fun we've had. She also mentioned the joy we experienced making fun of other people, which is true and hilarious. I can't help it. There is so much humor in the way people are.
As the night went on, I tried to talk to everyone. Unfortunately, I was saving my family for last because I talk to them more than anyone, but I didn't get to spend much time with them or anyone else really. My mom and aunt made traditional Czech desserts. They were so good. There were so many different kinds. I still have dreams about the cookies and pastries. In the Czech Republic, wedding cake is very expensive, so the women in the bride's family usually make pastries that the guests can later take home. My mom also bought several cakes. There was a carrot cake, a fruit and whipped cream torte, a chocolate cake, and a white cake stuffed with strawberries. One cake was labeled "All you need is love," another said, "Love" and the third said, "Love is all you need." These are lyrics from a Beatles song mentioned earlier in this blog.
Ben and I picked all the songs that were played that night and even though the D.J. was unsure how they would go over with the crowd, Ben and I were happy with the music. He played Jack Johnson, Mason Jennings, the Clash, Reverend Horton Heat, "Under Pressure" by Freddy Mercury and David Bowie, the Dixie Chicks, Michael Jackson, Social Distortion, Oingo Boingo, New Kids on the Block, the Mammals and much more. We danced our first dance to "Stairway to the Stars" by the Mammals. It is a lovely song with a 1940's sound. (I will try to upload so check back if you're interested. It's really a lovely song.) Then our parents danced to a song by Smoky Robinson. I can't think of the title right now, but it's a naughty little number that starts, "I don't like you, but I love you..."
We danced, drank, and enjoyed the perfect summer night. When the night was over, Ben and I along with a couple of friends cleaned up the restaurant (Yes, I did so in my wedding gown. I knew I would have to do so at some point, so it was not a chore. The Imperial buzz helped.) We thought we would come back the next morning to do it, but because we were suddenly going to celebrate a little longer with our friends who traveled great distances to be with us, we decided that we would rather hang out and sleep in than come clean up in the morning. And since there was a wedding reception at the Beach Grill the next day as well, I am glad we collected the decorations that night. We headed back to the hotel room and caught up with friends (see previous blog entry).
When our friends left, we opened a couple gifts that our friends wanted us to enjoy before our trip to Fiji. Then, Ben and I layed in bed and stared at the ceiling. We were still high on adrenaline and we couldn't sleep. We talked about the perfect day that we just had. And I was actually kind of sad that it was over. When Ben proposed to me, I was 23. I was still a kid and hardly ready to be a wife and plan a wedding. I am so glad I waited because if I hadn't, I may have had the wedding Ben's mom would have wanted for her daughter if she had one. This is what I have heard from a lot of women who get married young. They have to wear an ugly poofy dress in a church that they didn't pick with a bunch of traditions that are so familiar and yet so foreign at the same time. I knew that wasn't what I wanted. And even as I began planning the wedding, I kept returning to all those formal traditions and I kept thinking that I had to have them. But that was what I didn't want for my wedding. So I decided that Ben and I would do it the way we wanted, whether it followed tradition or not. We did everything: I made the invitations and the decorations (with lots of help from Jennifer, my sister-in-law). And it was perfect: just the way I wanted. I don't think anyone felt cheated out of the formal wedding. I don't think anyone missed it. Everyone was dressed casually. Our guests didn't have to buy something that they would only wear once. There weren't any references to religion, even though Ben is Jewish. We are a diverse group where everyone was welcome. It was a summer party with a wedding attached. I loved it and I would not have changed a thing.
Thank you to all of you who made the trip and those of you who wished us well. We appreciated it so much. I will think of it forever.
Photos to be added soon.
